Handbook of Acceptance

HE LAUGHS ABOUT IT NOW, BUT IT WASN’T a laughing matter that morning at a Phoenix private school when he was in fourth grade. A group of his friends said they couldn’t hang out with him anymore because he was a “Taliban.”

Imran Hafiz – bearing the proud name of the Virgin Mary’s father – looked at his pals as though they were nuts. It was a couple days after the September 11, 2001, attack on the World Trade Center in New York, and in his 9-year-old mind, the viciousness of that assault had nothing to do with the cherished religion he was learning from his parents.

“I remember 9-11,” he says now, sitting in the living room of his parents’ Paradise Valley home. “Mom and Dad woke us up early and we saw the second plane hit.”

Along with his big sister, Yasmine, he sat there in horror as the towers fell. “And then the news anchors on television sounded scared. I’d never heard that before, and it scared me. But I had no idea of the implications that would follow. But then they started saying, ‘Oh, Muslims did it.’”

He tried to tell his friends he wasn’t “Taliban,” that the Taliban are the extreme right wing of Islam that has nothing to do with him or his family, but they wouldn’t listen. “It’s now immensely funny, but then, I was scared,” he remembers.

Around the same time, Yasmine was disappointed to find that, while there were fine books for Christian teens to help them through the rough years of growing up, there wasn’t anything at her local bookstore that spoke to Muslim teens – nothing that explained what the religion was all about and what it stood for, a vacuum that became particularly significant as “Islam” started being spoken in the same breath as “terrorism.”

These were the kinds of things the children brought to the dinner table as their parents listened to their frustrations and their fears. And then Hamid and Dilara Hafiz went back to New York, where they lived before moving their family to Arizona, and visited Ground Zero. As Americans, they were devastated by the destruction. But that was just the start. “We were doubly horrified because our faith was being maligned,” Dilara remembers. “After 9-11, you heard Muslims blamed, you didn’t hear Saudi Arabians blamed.”

Although most of the hijackers were from Saudi Arabia, that nation escaped the scathing of both the American press and its people. Some say that’s because members of the Royal Family of Saudi Arabia are both personal and business associates with President George Bush and his family. Some say it’s because this was a way to demonize an enemy so Americans would do something they’d never done before in the entire history of the nation – attack a country that hadn’t attacked us first. Some say it was simple bigotry.
Consider this: How would you have felt if all Christians were blamed after Timothy McVeigh blew up the Federal Building in Oklahoma City on April 19, 1995? After all, until 9-11, that was the most devastating terrorist attack inside America – killing 168 and wounding more than 500 – committed by a “homegrown” boy, an Anglo man who’d served in our military and called himself not only a Christian but a Catholic. Yet did anyone ever say, “All Christians are terrorists”? Of course not, we know better.

The Hafiz family decided three years ago it was time for Americans to know better about Muslims, too.
Imran is now a freshman at Brophy Prep, Phoenix’s premiere Catholic boys school, while Yasmine is a senior at Xavier College Prep, the adjacent Catholic girls school. Along with their mother, Dilara, they’re fighting back against the stereotypes and misunderstandings of their religion with an amazing little book they wrote called The American Muslim Teenager’s Handbook. They published it through Phoenix’s Acacia Publishing this year.

“If we don’t speak up, how can we blame others for misunderstanding us?” Dilara asks.
She remembers being horrified at some of the ignorance she’s heard on national television. “One of the talking heads one day said Muslims couldn’t be Americans because we pray to Allah. I thought, he doesn’t even know that Allah is the Arabic word for God.”

Just as Dieu is the French word for God and Gott is the German word for God.

It was clear to her and her family that the American media, on the whole, didn’t have a clue about Islam.
They didn’t know the word Islam translates into “peace.”

They didn’t know Islam is one of the world’s three “Abrahamic” faiths that trace their roots back to Abraham – the other two are Christianity and Judaism.

They didn’t know all three religions pray to the same God. (Let me repeat that: Christians, Jews and Muslims all pray to the SAME God.)

They didn’t know Islam recognizes the Virgin Birth.

They didn’t know the same angel, Gabriel, who told a teenage Mary that she would be the mother of Jesus, is the angel who appeared to the Prophet Muhammad over two decades and laid out the basis of Islam.
They didn’t know the Virgin Mary is the most revered woman in the Quran (Islam’s bible).

They didn’t know Jesus and Muhammad are among the 25 prophets mentioned in the Quran.
They didn’t even know Islam is the world’s second largest religion, behind Christianity. That point alone should be a major clue: How would it be possible for some 1.3 billion people – a majority of the people in 57 of the world’s 191 countries, representing many different cultures – to belong to a religion that preached hate rather than love? It makes no sense, because Islam doesn’t preach hate. But you sure wouldn’t know that from some of the idiotic things that have been spread about the religion since 9-11.

There’s a whole bevy of right-wing commentators as ignorant as the one who didn’t know Allah means God. Then there are zealots like Ann Coulter spewing a kind of hatred that is breathtaking. She has said of Muslims: “We should invade their countries, kill all their leaders and convert them to Christianity.”
“You can’t find our religion in the media,” Hamid Hafiz says. “Because it’s either defined by a minority in our faith or the hatemongers.”

His daughter, Yasmine adds, “Ann Coulter is never judged as a Christian, she’s judged as an individual, but every Muslim is seen as representing the whole faith.”

She finds it sad that a beautiful saying often heard in Catholic schools, “For the greater glory of God,” would be considered “sinister” if a Muslim said it.

Imran remembers the day his Brophy teacher asked if anyone wanted to tell the story of Noah and the Arc. “I raised my hand and got up and talked about Noah,” he remembers. Afterward, a Catholic friend asked him, “Dude, how come you know about Noah?” And Imran told him, “He’s one of our prophets, too.” He remembers his friend was surprised and all of a sudden it struck him, “This was a unique opportunity to share my faith with others.”

That’s one of the things their book does. It lays out some basics of Islam that will be helpful to both Muslim teens and anyone interested in understanding the religion. “We are not speaking for Islam, but if we can help dispel the stereotypes and bring a little understanding, that is what we hope,” says Dilara, who is youth director of the Arizona Interfaith Movement.

After reading the book, “You’ll be able to critique what you hear on the news with reality,” Yasmine says. “If you hear, ‘all Muslims are out to get us,’ you’ll know that isn’t true.”

But don’t expect a heavy-handed, preachy book. This clear, often funny book takes teens through the dos and don’ts of the religion. There’s a chapter on “Islam 101” and another on “The 4 D’s – dating, dancing, drinking and drugs.” The book also covers peer pressure, dietary restrictions and the controversy over the headscarf called the hijab.

The book includes comments from Muslim teens around the country, solicited through a survey the authors sponsored. And it comes with glowing reviews. Dr. Paul Eppinger, executive director of the Arizona Interfaith Movement, said of the book, “I wish every major faith had just such a book for teens of their faith. We could then share them and learn to understand and respect each other.”

The book almost didn’t get published. Although the family got an agent, they encountered two problems: mainstream publishers thought the book would only appeal to Muslim teenagers – too small a market – and conservative Muslim publishers didn’t appreciate a moderate view of the religion. But when family members sent copies of the text to respected Muslim writers, they were strongly encouraged to continue. So they found a publishing house in Phoenix and paid for the printing themselves.

As far as they’re concerned, all the work and expense has already paid off in that kind of breakthrough from the hysteria.

As they say in the handbook, “There’s a fine line between ignorance and racism – confrontations are more likely to arise between strangers who mistrust each other’s ‘differences’ than between strangers who are informed and educated.”

The American Muslim Teenager’s Handbook is available at theamth.com.

• Arizona is the only U.S. state with one of the Seven Natural Wonders of the World – the Grand Canyon.
• Since 1910, Arizona has been the nation’s No. 1 producer of copper and has produced more copper than all the other 9 states combined. By the way, did you know the Statue of Liberty is plated with more than 179,000 pounds of copper?
• Arizona sent the first woman to the United States Supreme Court, our own Sandra Day O’Connor, who grew up on a ranch near Duncan, was a member of the Arizona Legislature and was an appeals judge when she was tapped for the honor by President Ronald Reagan in 1981.
• Arizona is the first and only state to have women in all top-five offices at once. The “Fab Five,” as they were dubbed in 1998, included Governor Jane Hull, Attorney General Janet Napolitano, Secretary of State Betsey Bayless, State Treasurer Carol Springer and Superintendent of Public Instruction Lisa Graham Keegan.
• Janet Napolitano went on to be the first U.S. governor elected under the Clean Elections system.
• We are the first state to ever oust a lawmaker for breaking a Clean Elections campaign law. Typically, only recall or impeachment has removed elected officials, but State Representative David Burnell Smith of Cave Creek was forced out of office in 2005 after he overspent his limits on what was supposed to be a Clean Elections campaign. (We’re not the only state that has Clean Elections, but our courts have attested that our law has teeth!)
• Arizona had the nation’s first water reclamation project, Theodore Roosevelt Dam, built from 1903 to 1911, which is still operated by the Salt River Project to this day. Teddy himself came for the dedication and stayed the night at the private home of Mae and Dwight Heard, which eventually became the original Heard Museum on Central Avenue.
• Arizona currently has the single most expensive and ambitious public works project in America, the Central Arizona Project, which brings Colorado River water to Phoenix and beyond.
• Arizona leads the nation in “identity theft,” which costs citizens millions of dollars every year and is under attack by the Attorney General’s office.
• Arizona was the location of the bloodiest 27 seconds in all of Western history – the Gunfight at the OK Corral on October 26, 1881. Three men died that day, five more died shortly after the fight and the name Wyatt Earp was forever branded on the hide of Western folklore.
• Arizona is the first state in the nation to have a domestic violence shelter for elder-abuse victims; it’s called Doves.
• Arizona has more charter schools than any other state in the country.
• “Kids Voting” was founded in Arizona and now thrives throughout the nation.
• The Make-A-Wish Foundation was born here, created in 1980 to fulfill the dreams of a little Phoenix boy with leukemia who wanted to be a policeman. Since then, it has fulfilled more than 2,500 wishes of terminally ill children and has more than 70 chapters in this country and 28 international affiliates.
• Miranda Rights – “you have the right to remain silent, anything you say can be used against you in a court of law…” – was born from a 1963 Arizona rape case against Phoenix resident Ernesto Miranda.
• The world’s first food bank was created here. St. Mary’s Food Bank is still thriving today because of great community support and wonderful volunteers.
  In 1969, Big Surf opened its doors as the nation’s first wave-machine water park.
• The Southwest’s first residential high-rise is our own Phoenix Towers – the pink high-rise on Central Avenue and Palm Lane that turns 50 this year.
  Sigma Phi Beta at ASU is the nation’s first fraternity to allow transgender members.
• Mesa is No. 1 in the nation in carpooling, according to a national study. Phoenix is No. 2.
• Although an Arizona Commerce Department report notes this state has the “best solar resources in the nation,” we have squandered that No. 1 status for decades and, just now, with a push from the Arizona Corporation Commission, are thinking of getting into the game. We’ve been so lame; nearly a decade ago we lost the contract for a big national solar energy institute to Colorado, of all places. HELLO!! This state needs to wake up to its potential of being the nation’s leader in solar power.
  It’s not like our universities aren’t primed and ready; ASU has the only certified solar module testing lab in the country, and the University of Arizona is involved in solar-cell research. Everyone else needs to get a clue.
• Arizona’s statewide behavioral health system is operated under the largest contract of its kind in the nation – a three-year-at-a-time deal worth almost $1. billion.
• Palo Verde is the nation’s largest nuclear power plant and now has the dubious distinction of being the most regulated one in the country. Safety concerns led the Nuclear Regulator Commission last February to downgrade the plant to a category that demands more rigorous oversight and up to 2,500 additional hours of federal inspections annually for at least two years.
• The first recorded rodeo was held in Arizona in 186.
• Arizona ranks first in the nation for the number of children with syphilis, according to a health study.
  Thanks to Maricopa Attorney Andrew P. Thomas, Maricopa County has the awful distinction of being the nation’s leader in seeking the death penalty. In 200, the year before Republican Thomas was elected, the county attorney’s office – also in Republican hands – sought the death penalty in 28 of 108 cases. In 2006, Thomas sought death in of 89 murder cases. Last summer, it was reported that he had 138 capital cases pending, more than the total number of all the death penalty cases in the other 9 states. Does the phrase “blood thirsty” come to mind? Does to mine.
• Maricopa County has the wonderful distinction of having the largest community college system in the nation. And we have the late Polly Rosenbaum to thank. The longtime legislator and state preservation advocate pushed through the first bill to establish the community college system and always was proud of what it had meant to millions of students.
• Another woman gave Arizona the distinction of building the first subdivision for Habitat for Humanity. That was the late Debi Bisgrove, whose charitable contributions – made along with her husband, Jerry – are legendary. I first met Debi at the Habitat site in South Phoenix that would make history and where she was known to wield a hammer with the best of them. Most Habitat houses are on scattered sites, but the South Phoenix subdivision showed a new, successful way to maximize housing and a better living environment for its residents.
• Phoenix’s new light rail system is the longest initial stretch of rail ever built in an American city.
  When it comes to Biblical research, Arizona has a duet of No. 1s. Almost 20 years ago, scientists at the University of Arizona, using sophisticated carbon testing, proved the “Shroud of Turin” was not the burial cloth of Jesus. In April, UofA scientists determined that a 1,700-year-old text known as the Gospel of Judas was authentic. The Coptic-language text says Judas wasn’t the greatest traitor in Christian history but was Jesus’ most special apostle, hand-chosen to turn Jesus in so he could fulfill his mission on earth.
• South Mountain Preserve, all 16,283 acres of it, is the nation’s largest city park.
  Scientology, the controversial religion founded by L. Ron Hubbard, was developed in Phoenix in 1952.
• The farm workers movement was founded by Cesar Chavez, who was born and died in Arizona, although he lived much of his life in California. His birthday on April 23 is now marked with Valley-wide celebrations.
  The only code the Japanese couldn’t break during World War II was created by some 00 Navajo code talkers from Arizona and New Mexico. They were instrumental in winning the war for America.
• Although nobody is going to believe this one, Allstate Insurance claims Phoenix drivers are first in safety of the nine largest cities in the nation. Last May, they reported that Phoenix drivers are least likely to suffer an accident, compared with drivers in other large cities. Surprised the hell out of me. I’m more likely to believe the other national survey that came out a week earlier, saying Phoenix had the second rudest drivers in the country, behind Miami.
• Arizona voters are the first and only ones so far to reject a constitutional amendment billed as “banning gay marriage.” In the 2006 election, voters saw through the ruse of a ballot item titled “Protect Arizona Marriage” that, in effect, claimed it wanted to make marriage legal between only one man and one woman. The thing is, gay marriage is already illegal in Arizona, and the appeals court has made it clear it won’t reconsider.
• The majority of voters saw that the ballot item really was about ending health insurance benefits for thousands of families, endangering retired couples’ Social Security, and altering adoption, inheritance and medical decision-making. In short, Proposition 107 was an attack on all unmarried couples, gay and straight. I love it when voters see through the junk.